Have a butchers at the Nothing phone clothing line (and other brand’s bizarre tech textiles)

Nothing, the tech brand — not the metaphysical concept, is one of the more interesting prospects in the smartphone and personal audio markets. The Nothing phone (2) and ear (2) have garnered a sizable following for their unique style and slick performance.

Now, those swooned by Nothing founder Carl Pei’s trendy transparent tech can wear their love for the brand on their sleeve. And their torso. Even their head. All thanks to the company’s new clothing line: Nothing Apparel.

Wearing nothing in the streets 

Indeed, Nothing Apparel sounds like an Emporer’s New Clothes situation, or at the very least an ironic dress code for a nudist beach. However, the brand’s new clothing lineup (conceptualized with the design minds at Teenage Engineering) isn’t planning an untoward textile take on the transparent trend. Instead, its first two items, while not entirely opaque, are an ode to the IBM factory floor: a translucent labcoat and cap combo due to release tomorrow, Thursday, Dec. 7.

Nothing’s eco-friendly Labcoat includes multiple zip pockets, an adjustable waist, and regular or thigh-length fits. While it does indeed pull off the retro-futuristic chic of a vintage IBM Worklon uniform, it also looks like a theme park Rain Mac. Pair it with the translucent cap and you’re one rubber splashguard away from becoming the hottest abattoir attire of 2023.

Unlike the brand’s universally adored smartphone and earphone designs, this look might be a little more divisive. But then again what would I know about fashion, I double denim. If you’re interested in Nothing’s fashion ventures then you’ll be able to pick up the brand’s new Labcoat and Cap in various sizes starting at $40 from tomorrow. Personally, I’ll be waiting for the brand’s take on the Intel Bunny suit before I part with my cash. But each to their own.

The tech textile trend

Nothing isn’t the only tech brand branching out into the textile business. It’s 2023 and just about everybody has a clothing brand nowadays — including Microsoft, which launched its own Hardwear clothing line in 2022.

A year on and I still can’t tell if this was a serious venture or an ironic parody of modern fashion. Even after the brand recently launched new ugly holiday sweaters featuring the classic Windows XP wallpaper, Bliss.

Tech’s temptation to trade in textiles stretches back even further than you’d expect, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t take this opportunity to point out one of the worst fashion faux pas in history: Apple’s 80’s clothing line.

Interestingly, Apple’s gaudy venture into fashion came just one year after Steve Jobs left the company in 1985. It’s said that Job’s departure was due to disagreements with the board of directors.

Given Jobs’ philosophy of design and visual taste, I like to imagine that the above T-shirts are the real reason behind the falling out. I’d quit in protest too.